Whatever you do, don’t neglect that Derrida citation

SCQ tells us how to write a paper! If only I’d learned useful stuff like this in grad school, I’d have already appeared on a History Channel documentary about The Da Vinci Code, spewing some sort of bombast about Merovingian mitochondrial DNA. Ah, the road not taken. . .
TEN BASIC HEURISTIC PRINCIPLES FOR ACADEMIC TEXT CRAFTING, OR HOW TO PUBLISH A PAPER IN A PEER-REVIEWED JOURNAL