This blog will probably skew a little personal for a week or two, because I’m in the midst of a major career change. The distressing thing is, I’m getting hammered by friends right and left, because I seem “insufficiently excited” about my options. They all expect more “rah rah rah.” I do have some excellent options before me, and I am thankful. But I’m also hesitant to invest any unexplored avenue with the advance baggage of being the “perfect” thing for me. Is there even one “perfect” career direction? And would bubbly mania be the best indication I had found it?
I have no objective way to ascertain what is “perfect” for me, except to look at what aspects of my career failed to satisfy me in the past, and extrapolate. I’m basing my decision to move forward on dissatisfaction. Everyone seems to feel that’s big negative. But is it? What other source of objective evidence is there? Isn’t recognizing and acting on your dissatisfaction a healthy thing? After all, dissatisfaction is America’s Greatest Asset!
I found these classic ads at Modern Mechanix. I love the one with the housewife, who doesn’t look “dissatisfied” with her sofa-cleaning strategies anymore. In fact, she looks rabidly Stepfordian! That’s something I want to avoid: faking enthusiasm. Because I’m not good at it. I don’t love easily. But when I do love something, I throw myself into it violently. I’m not ready to throw myself violently one way or the other yet – not without evidence. I’m still too much of a scientist for that sort of impetuosity. And I’m too old for the bruises.
On the other hand, if anyone has any helpful advice on how to decide between law schools, specifically those in Cambridge and New Haven, email me.
Law school, eh? No wonder you’re getting static from friends…
Seriously, though, your reason for changing gears – dissatisfaction, is sound, assuming the change is a step toward internal/intellectual contentment. Achieving that plateau might be harder for the forever curious, but it seems as healthy a “goal” as any. We’re living in the time of perpetual adolescence and wanting, and we all suffer from these ills to some extent. You might never be happy if you don’t focus on the core desire; doing so doesn’t necessarily make you selfish. I think I’m finally realizing as much…not that it’s proving helpful in practice.
As you’ve probably gathered from my own blogging, I’ve been sitting on a related question lately…so I sympathize.
Yeah, why is it we have to decide what to do with our lives?
I like the concept of perpetual adolescence, but I’m way too responsible to embrace it in reality. But I have to sidle that direction in order to escape what hasn’t been working; this new phase of my life is the most irresponsible I have ever been, which isn’t saying all that much. I find law quite interesting and challenging, but then, I find so many random things interesting, like the dollhouse I demo’d and rebuilt just now. . . The kicker is figuring out what will interest me for the rest of my life. . . hopefully I’m on the right track.
Anyway, I hope you have better luck than I do balancing creativity with inspiration and satisfaction.