Santa, c/o Ginsberg, Plath and Poe

The December McSweeney’s gives us:

Poems That Were Considered and Rejected Before ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas Was Established as “the Official American Christmas Poem.”

I can’t decide which of the three I like best. But the faux-Poe perhaps best captures the confused fever of the pre-holiday frenzy:

The Jingle Bells
BY EDGAR ALLAN POE

Hear the jingle bells!
Hear them jingle!
How they jingle!
How they jangle!
And see the madman in the red suit!
Who is coming!
He sees you!
With wide wild eyes.
He wants you!
He sees you when you sleep!
He knows what mad dances
The reindeer make!
How they twirl and touch their antlers!
How their blood is stirred
By the madman they call Claus!
How merry they are
As they drink your blood and say,
“Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a good night!”
You are their daughter!
My love!